Today is day 14 of being on crutches. It's also day 9 of wearing a boot. Why?
I tripped on Andy's shoe on my way down the basement stairs to do his laundry. ........ UGH. He's definitely paying for it though because I am dependent on him for almost everything. I can't get around without crutches, which means I can't carry anything anywhere. I actually tried once... it ended up with me losing my crutches and falling, which made my ankle hurt even more, so I've learned my lesson. I can't carry anything. I also can't drive because it's my right foot. He's having to do a lot.
So what's the diagnosis? I don't know and that's really killing me. I went to Urgent Care immediately after the initial fall. They did x-rays and checked out my ankle. She said I sprained my ankle, gave me crutches, and said I'd be back to walking in 2-3 days. Five days later and the thought of not using my crutches had me in tears. I made an appointment to see an orthopedic.
Yep, I sprained my ankle alright, but what Urgent Care missed completely was that I f-ed up my foot, more particularly, my heel. When the doc was examining my foot he pressed on my heel and I hit him. Yes that is right. I whacked his arm away. Total reflex, but it hurt! Then he sent me for x-rays of my foot. They came back still not showing a break. However. He said a tiny fracture wouldn't show up in an x-ray unless I put some weight on my foot (which I was not doing in the x-ray). So... now I have a boot, which is actually great because it lets me at least put some weight on my foot, I'm on crutches until it's not painful anymore (I sure hope that's sooner than later), and I go back on March 11th for more x-rays. If there was a fracture, then we'll know then because bone growth will show up in the x-ray. If not... well then I guess I just tore the sh*t out of the soft-tissues in my foot. But after the 11th, I'll know "what's next."
Friends. I. am. miserable.
1) This is my busiest time of year at work. In a way it's good because once I'm at the office I'm so swamped with things that the time flies by and I rarely even think about my foot. But I could be a lot more productive if I could get around and say, grab my print-outs from the photocopier. Our office is the opposite of handicapped-friendly, so being on crutches makes a lot of things next to impossible. In the meantime I'm strapped to my computer and having to ask for a lot of help from my coworkers, who (the ones I like) have all been very kind and helpful, so I am thankful for all of them.
2) Um... we're moving in less than a month. How many boxes are packed? Oh, that's zero. I honestly don't know how we are going to make this happen. Like literally. I cannot begin to fathom how on earth we will move our entire house to another house without me being able to do a thing. I can't even think about it or I'll have a panic attack.
3) I miss my independence. I miss everyday things being easy. Do you know how hard it is to get in and out of a claw-foot tub and shower while balancing on one foot? It is a living version of hell. Yet showering is also heaven because I do it so infrequently now, that it's glorious to feel clean for one second. Do you know how tiresome it is to rely on rides everywhere? I'm glad I have friends to lean on for rides, and again, Andy has been a champ. But the truth is, you're stuck to life on someone else's schedule that way... there's no way around it. I miss being able to make my own food. I miss being able to bend down and pick up Birdie... I can't even take her outside, poor little girl. I miss going to the bathroom whenever I want. Why? Because our bathroom is upstairs - and up a steep flight of stairs at that - and it is soooo hard to get up them, I now try to delay it until it absolutely must happen. And even then, I can't wait too late or I won't make it up the stairs in time!
4) Also, it's winter. And there's snow. And snow + crutches = super scary.
I could keep going, but I won't for your sake. Let's just say I have been crying pretty much everyday. I hate this. I'm so frustrated. And I feel lots of despair.
Andy has been a great helper. He makes my food, does my laundry, drives me places... basically does everything for me (poor guy). And my little Birdie has been such a sweetheart. She's my little snuggle bug.
She also got a haircut. She is so so so cute!
And she still brings me her toys and places them right on my boot so I can reach them. :-) Smart little girl.
Oh, here's a picture of the snow.... this all happened in one day. Thankfully some of it melted, but we're getting more as I type. Oh joy.
Thankfully my boss is super understanding and has let me work a day here and there from home. That usually looks like this...
And when I'm actually working at the office, it usually looks like this...
Other things... we spent Valentine's Day in Buffalo with Andy's family. How romantic, lol. Honestly, it was actually really nice to get out of the house and lay on someone else's couch - how sad is that! Back to Valentine's Day - I got Andy a creme brulee kit, blow torch included, so he made those. Using the torch was fun.
The following weekend we went to the Corning Museum of Glass (we called ahead and they had wheelchairs, so that is the only we were able to go there). It was so cool!! My favorite parts were the glass blowing demonstrations and the class we signed up for where we got to make our own glass wind chime!
Other crutches-bound activities have included:
- Going to the casino (again, they had a wheelchair)
- Seeing "The Revenant" at a recliner movie theater. That was disappointingly uncomfortable. I could not get comfortable with that stupid boot on my foot. Also the movie was pretty gross...
- Watching Birdie play at the dog park (I sat in the car to watch, there was too much snow for me to manage to get inside the park)
- Lots of reading. I am making my way quickly through "Room."
- And most of all sleeping. When I'm in bed I don't have to wear the boot and amazingly my ankle/foot doesn't hurt, so it is by far the most comfortable I am all day long. I wish I could sleep until this thing is healed and I'm done with it.
There you have it. My sad story with a few little happy highlights.
Coming up: My birthday is in a week! What do I want? To walk again. hmmmm. Also, the Intermediate Concerts, my most busy crazy event of the year. And closing on our house! Ok, that panic attack is about to hit hard so I need to stop talking about this.
Hope you are all well. Be grateful for the little things - I promise you don't realize how much you take for granted. I sure didn't have a clue.
No comments:
Post a Comment